I’m living in a real Advent season right now. Yeah, I know we’re only three days away from Christmas, but I’m talking about a plain old season of waiting. And it’s hard.
I’ve closed some big chapters in my life recently and have begun the pages of a new one, yet the future is so blurry and I have no telltale signs of what is to come. It’s really killing me. I recently graduated from COLLEGE (still trying to process that one). I finished my BA in Communication Sciences and Disorders and my minor in Psychology and I am one happy camper. I recently acquired a job as a barista at my favorite restaurant (and it’s really quite humbling to be working minimum wage after just earning a degree, I will tell you that). I finished applying for Graduate School (six of them, to be exact). I’m living back at home for eight months, totally in limbo as I await the next chapter of my life to be unveiled. I don’t know where I will be come summer’s end. I don’t know when I’m getting that dang acceptance letter. I don’t know where I’ll be living, where I’ll be continuing my education, or how I’ll start all over again. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for school. I don’t know how often I’ll get to see my family, friends, and boyfriend. I just don’t know, and like I said, it’s killing me. Advent is a challenging concept and oftentimes, I really do hate it. Advent makes me anxious, grumpy, and lacking joy. It shouldn’t, but it does.
Advent has become a theme in my life. God knows that I am the most impatient person to ever walk the face of the earth, so voila: my life’s theme is waiting and learning to be patient. To wait on the Lord. To trust in His sovereignty and mighty plan for each and every day (mundane, or not). He challenges me in this because He knows my struggle with it. I truly believe that. After all, “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” {Romans 5:3-4}. But what is the beginning of that verse? “We rejoice in our sufferings because…..”. To make that more specific to the context of my life and my own struggles, “we rejoice in our waiting” or “we rejoice in our impatience” or “we rejoice in not being in control”. You see, joy is another great theme in my life. I struggle with the concept of advent, yes, but I’ve always struggled with joy. Depression is part of my backstory. Anxiety is part of my backstory. Varying health issues and deep grief are other major parts as well. Not only has God challenged me with waiting because of my impatience and lack of trust, but I believe He challenges me with opportunities to be joyful as well. We are called to “count it all joy…when you meet trials of various kinds” {James 1:2}.
So what happens when the challenge of waiting collides with the challenge of being joyful? (Because it TOTALLY does).
Be joyful in the waiting. Paul already made that abundantly clear in the fifth chapter of Romans. Rejoice in our sufferings. Count it all joy (thanks, James). “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer” {Romans 12:12} This is not only a challenge, but a command. I’ve had to realize that God doesn’t expect me to know everything. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect or to have a smooth-sailing life. That may seem obvious, but I don’t always live like I know that. And that is why He challenges me. He commands me. God knows that to have an abundant life, I must rejoice in my Advent, in my waiting. I must rejoice in the many unknowns that are before me. I must rejoice in the fact that HE KNOWS. HE has planned. HE has provided.
Mary had to have felt pretty similar to how I am feeling. She wasn’t waiting on hearing back from grad school, but she was unmarried, pregnant, and told by an angel that her son was to be called “the Son of the Most High” {Luke 1:32}. How in the heck would she NOT be freaked out in this season of waiting (9 months of waiting to be exact)? Her claims and pregnancy would be worthy of death, through the eyes of Jewish law. Granted, that is much more serious of a waiting than I am going through, but the principle is the same. Mary was in a season of “what now?” And you know what she did? She answered the angel (an answer to God, indirectly), “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word” {Luke 1:38}. Mary responded to a tumultuous season of waiting ahead of her with humility, faith, and ultimately, joy.
“And Mary said, ‘My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name.” {Luke 1:46-49}
Mary said all this before Jesus was born. She trusted that God knew what He had for her. She trusted in His plan and she rejoiced in the unknown. Her future was much more blurry and uncertain than mine. Wow. What an example.
When God calls us to advent, He also calls us to joy. What a wave of relief to know that this season does not last forever and that God fulfills His promises. And what a reflection of His faithfulness, too. He is good to us in the small seasons of Advent (like me waiting on a piddly old acceptance letter), but He is just as good in the larger seasons of Advent (like His Son coming again to judge the sins of the world and sweep His children away to their heavenly home). Guys, the joy is welling. Praise Him in the waiting.
Love Sees You 