Confessions of a Protestant Congregant

Well, it has been a nice long while, hasn’t it? It’s been almost a year! I’ve taken a bit of a hiatus from writing, mostly because life got incredibly busy all of a sudden. My husband and I were house hunting last summer, buying a house and moving during the fall, and we found out we are having our first baby! Between those things, I’ve been a bit too busy to take time to write. I also really like to reserve writing for big things I feel the Lord has been teaching me. And there is a lot He’s been doing in my life, but some things I am still learning and working towards and not quite ready to write about just yet.

I came by this particular idea for a blog post during church a few weeks ago. Once a month, we celebrate communion at our church. Through the symbols of the bread and the cup, we remember Christ’s gracious sacrifice and atonement for us, and how as believers, we join in with His death and resurrection. Our old, sinful self dies with Him on the cross and our new self is given eternal life by Him! Our pastor’s oldest son sits with us during communion sometimes and as he is very young, he doesn’t quite understand the ins and outs of communion. This usually leads to lots of whispered questions as the deacons pass the plates around, but it gives me a great opportunity to explain (in terms a child can understand) why we take communion. I have really enjoyed this opportunity, because it helps me to align my heart and remind myself why I am participating in this very special service. It may be a simplified version of the “why,” but it often brings me to tears to think over this sacrament we get to enjoy and celebrate.

“When we drink the juice? Well, that reminds us of Jesus’ blood- how he took our place on the cross! And the bread? Yes, that’s a symbol of Jesus’ body. It was broken and hurt so ours wouldn’t have to be. Jesus’ took our place for the punishment of our sins because He loves us so much!” 

When I am not tending to the curious questions of a 5-year-old during communion, I usually have my Bible open to one of my favorite Psalms. Chapter 51 is a beautiful and heart-wrenching lament over sin and a plea for God’s forgiveness. I choose to read this passage during each communion, because I want to be reminded of my sin. I want to be reminded of what I was saved from. But I also love Psalm 51 because it points so magnificently to Jesus’ sacrifice, though King David wrote it long before Jesus hung on Calvary. To me, it is so fitting for communion, as it truly helps me focus on the reason why I am taking it. It reminds me that I am a sinner, in need of grace every day, and was given Jesus’ own righteousness as a gift when He took my place on the cross. He suffered what should have been my just reward. He was bruised and beaten, bloodied and marred, as a willing sacrifice. He took my sin upon Himself and perfectly atoned for my sin.

I’ve been wanting to sift through Psalm 51 for a while now. I have wanted to share my thoughts and what I’ve learned as I’ve read through it countless times. I’m by no means a theologian, nor have I studied this Scripture in-depth as a pastor surely would, but this is my own human understanding of the Psalm written when King David likely felt the most guilty and sin-entangled of his life.

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love, according to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgressions.“

Vs. 1

I need a completely clean slate. Lord, I don’t deserve Your forgiveness, but out of Your compassion, You freely give it to me.

“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin!”

Vs. 2

Lord, forgive me of my betrayal of You, my crookedness, and overall moral corruption. My sin is a stain and I need You to cleanse me.

“For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me.”

Vs. 3

My guilt is abundantly clear. I am not innocent, nor am I a “good person.”

“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.” 

Vs. 4

I confess, Lord, that I have fallen short of Your perfect standards. I have twisted and corrupted Your creation. Every sin of mine is ultimately against You, therefore, You are the Judge I will stand before one day.

“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me.”

Vs. 5

I was born into this world, innately sinful. I was not taught to sin, but it is a part of my nature as a human being.

“Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.“

Vs. 6

God, even though I have hurt You and sinned against You, You delight in my humility and honesty with myself about my sin. You show me the Way to be clean and always point me back to Yourself.

“Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean. Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”

Vs. 7

As the Israelites used a hyssop branch to cover their doorframes with lamb’s blood as a sign to You to pass over their house and refrain from destroying them, please cover me with Your own sacrificial blood as a sign of your saving grace. God, may I be made white as snow where the blackness of sin used to be.

“Let me hear joy and gladness, let the bones that you have broken rejoice.”

Vs. 8

God, despite my human nature, may the truth of Your salvation give me joy! May I rejoice in my earthly sufferings because of the eternal promise I have through Your forgiveness!

“Hide your face from my sins and blot out my iniquities.”

Vs. 9

Lord, cast my sins as far as the east is from the west.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

Vs. 10

Please make me a new creation. Give me a spirit that delights in obeying and loving You, not one that habitually sins against You.

“Cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me.”

Vs. 11

Father, do not leave me or forsake me.

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.”

Vs. 12

Continually remind me of the joy of belonging to You, and strengthen my resolve to please You in all that I do.

“Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will return to you.”

Vs. 13

After I have removed the log from my own eye and confronted and confessed my own sin, give me the strength to aid other believers in removing the speck from their eyes. May my testimony be one that will help others return to Your love and grace.

“Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.”

Vs. 14

You alone can declare me innocent. Do so, my Savior. I will always praise You for how You have made me right with You!

“O Lord, open my lips and my mouth will declare your praise.”

Vs. 15

Thank You, God, for Your undeserved grace.

“For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.”

Vs. 16

Lord, lip service and mere religion are not enough to appease You. Good works do not make me Right in Your eyes. Nothing I do will save me from my sin.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

Vs. 17

But God, it is everything You do that makes me Right with You. I offer up my heart to You. I am but a living sacrifice, God. You will not reject true and genuine repentance, and You will accept nothing less.

“Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem;”

Vs. 18

Please bless me in this place, Lord, and continue to build up Your Church!

“then you will delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.“

Vs. 19

After I have confessed and repented of my sins, Lord, then my obedience will be fragrant to You! Please continually remind me that repentance comes first and the good things I do are merely a fruit of my salvation gift (given by You!) that I pray will help point others to Your love!

That is the Psalm of Confession in a nutshell! It is what I think through every time I “do this in remembrance” of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Communion becomes a very specific place of confession for me. I am not Catholic, as you may have guessed from the play-on-words title, but I do indeed participate in confession. And we all should! If this Psalm points out anything, it is how essential confession should be in the life of one of God’s children. The most amazing news as someone who is a believer in Jesus Christ is that we do not need to “go to” confession per se, but we go directly to the One who actually needs our confession! What I am saying is, we don’t need to be in a certain place or with a certain person for God to hear our cries for forgiveness. If we have accepted Jesus as our Savior (believed in our heart and confessed with our mouths His Lordship in our lives), His Spirit dwells in us and advocates to the Father for us. We have 100% direct access to God. If you need another picture of this, look no further than Matthew 27:51. Immediately after Jesus died, the temple curtain tore in two from top to bottom. This was the curtain that separated the Holy of Holies from the common area of worship, symbolizing our separation from a Holy God. Jesus’ death bridged that separation. Believers from then on had direct access to God and did not have to rely on a priest to advocate for their forgiveness!

According to Psalm 51, we sin against God directly, therefore, our confession for our sin is ultimately owed to Him. This doesn’t mean that we don’t sin against people…we definitely do and we should apologize to those we hurt, but God is the only one who can atone for our sin! My husband may be able to forgive me if I say something that hurts him, but he cannot cover that sin and remove its stain from my life. He cannot erase the effects of my sin! Any human priest or pastor is just another person, sinful like you and me. The Levitical priests of the Old Testament were indeed established by God, but they served as temporary symbols and imperfect advocates. They were people who had to confess sin as well, and nothing they sacrificed could perfectly atone for the peoples’ sin. Their roles merely pointed to Jesus and the need for a Great, Perfect High Priest who could atone for our sin. They showed the people just how sinful they were and how much they needed God! Confessing sin is an act unto God and God alone. Nothing else even makes sense, especially when we look at this Psalm! King David pleaded with God directly to wash him from his transgressions. The priestly system of the Jews was still in place, but David recognized that on top of his ceremonial act of confession, He needed to be made right with God through forgiveness that only God could render. No priest could wash David clean.

Hebrews 4:14-16 says this:

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest [Jesus] who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

I love this. Christ is the only one who understands the burden of sin, but without actually sinning. This is why He deserves our confession and not a human priest. Jesus lived on this earth for 30-some years and knows what it is like to be tempted. He also knows the weight of sin because He took it all upon Himself on the cross. Yet, He remained sinless Himself, never once giving into temptation, never once sinning against a soul. He was our perfect sacrifice AND our perfect priest. His sacrifice covered our sins and His intercession makes us right with God. We can CONFIDENTLY draw near to Jesus and pour out our hearts to Him. We come to Him, asking for forgiveness, in sorrow over how we have sinned against Him, while remaining sure that He has covered our sins, blotted out our transgressions, and washed us white as snow.

“Consequently, He [Jesus], is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. For it was indeed fitting that we should have such a high priest [Jesus], holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens. He has no need, like those high priests, to offer sacrifices daily, first for his own sins and then for those of the people, since He did this once for all when He offered up himself. For the law appoints men in their weaknesses as high priests, but the word of the oath, which came later than the law, appoints a Son who has been made perfect forever.”

Hebrews 7:25-28