I was asked yesterday if I was going to start writing again and when I started talking about it, I realized just how much I missed it. Since I last wrote, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and BOY has God been teaching me so much these past several months. When I answered the woman who inquired about my blog, I told her that I often waited to write about lessons God has taught me. What I realized after thinking about that awhile, is that God is never going to stop teaching me (thank goodness). There may even be some lessons that I am learning for the rest of my time here on earth. I thought that maybe it would be okay to write about my experiences while I am experiencing them. That is what I am about to do today. I’m writing about motherhood and what I have learned in the past several months. I am by no means experienced or know what I am doing, but I am humbled in my learning and realizing that while I may not be a perfect mom, I am the perfect mom for my son.
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
I wish I might have written about this a little bit sooner so I could remember the details a bit better, but this passage popped up numerous times since my son was born. It was the focus of a children’s song I listened to with him (which has helped me memorize the verses myself!). It was the theme behind a book I read by Voddie Baucham entitled “Family Driven Faith.” It was the passage our pastor used at our son’s dedication. It was a driving reason for the startup of a podcast I listen to about motherhood and apologetics. I had always heard bits of this passage quoted before, but had never truly taken the time to study it or read it in its entirety. After hearing these verses over and over again, I realized that God might be trying to tell me something! Instead of “Hear, O Israel” it may as well have read “Hear, O Mom.”
In this passage, God tells Moses, who then tells the children of Israel, how exactly to love Him. God asks us to love Him, not just with our words, but with our actions…with every fiber of our being. Moses tells the Hebrews to love God with all of their heart, with all of their soul, and with all of their might. This means that we are called to love God with our affections, with our actions, and with our intellect. Our love for God is an outpouring into every facet of our lives. Our love for God isn’t just a warm fuzzy feeling we get when those worship tunes hit us just right. Our love for God is shown through how we live our lives, how we speak to others, how we run our homes, how we serve, how we raise our kids, how we study His Word, and how we uphold His commands.
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
1 John 3:18
This expanded command really caught my attention, especially as a new mom. What was even more convicting was the fact that the context of the first couple verses was for parents raising their children. Love for the Lord our God should permeate our homes and be interwoven in every aspect of our lives. Moses told the Israelites to teach these commands “diligently” to their children and to talk about how to love God in all moments. We should instruct our children in the ways of the Lord “when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Our children should not just see our faith displayed on Sunday mornings. It should be an all-day, everyday deal.
What stood out to me the most in these commands, however, was the implication that I am to love God with all of my mind. When asked about the greatest commandment of the law, Jesus quoted Deuteronomy 6 and actually said “mind” rather than “might” as it does in the Old Testament. He didn’t misquote Scripture…He highlighted what was implied in the Torah.
Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.This is the great and first commandment.
Matthew 22:36-38
Does this mean I love God with my…knowledge? In a way, yes! Think about it this way: when I first began dating my husband, we didn’t know each other all that well, comparatively speaking. We knew each other for about 4 months before we decided to start dating. Once we started dating and I found out all about his family, friends, high school experiences, etc. did I just stop learning about him? No! Of course not. As I grew to love him (and as I desired to love him more), I wanted to know more and more about him…what makes him “tick,” so to speak. I wanted to learn about what brings him joy, what makes him upset, what his hopes and dreams are, what his favorite memories are, and more! I don’t know if I could truly love him well today if I didn’t continually learn about him. I wouldn’t be able to serve him well or love him very well if I stopped learning more and more about him. How can I love my husband if I don’t know him better than anyone? Loving God with our mind is very similar to this. How can we love someone deeply who we do not know? Loving God with our minds is learning what makes Him “tick.” As we read Scripture, we learn more about His character. We see what brings God joy and what hurts Him. We see what He has planned for the future and we see His heart for His people. We see how He cares and how He reproves. Loving God with our intellect is just as important as loving Him with our affections and our actions.
In fact, “when we seek to love God with all of our faculties, including our minds, we become well prepared to carry out the Great Commission” (Mama Bear Apologetics).
This is specifically how I have been challenged as a new mom these past several months. I know my son is very, very young at this point, but this just means I have a little extra time to prepare myself. Learning to love God with my mind will better equip me to teach my son about the Gospel and God’s loving commandments. Loving God with my intellect will deepen my relationship with Him and it will help me to be prepared to answer my son’s questions someday. God gave me (and my husband, of course) the responsibility to instruct and teach our son. It is not the job of his Sunday School teachers or his grandparents or his aunts or uncles to disciple him. It is first and foremost my job! God gave me the responsibility as his mom to love him and disciple him and lead him in the narrow way. I may not be able to do big ministry things right now as a mom to a baby, but discipling my son someday will be the biggest job I will ever be tasked with.
This passage holds true for us today just as much as it did for the Israelites. They were about to venture into pagan lands, to lay hold of God’s tangible promises for them, and God reminded them where their focus should be. We live in a pagan land too. Our world feels more and more sinful the further we get from Eden. This passage should be paramount in our families. I have been convicted of this greatly in the months since my son was born. By no means have I “learned this lesson” yet. I think this is one I will be learning for a long time, but I pray that God will equip me (and all of us moms!) to love Him with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our might.
Once again, it’s been awhile since I’ve written a thing. You could say this time, I’ve been a bit distracted. I’m sitting in my living room this morning trying to keep my mind occupied. The realization hit me when I woke up at 5:42 am, that in about 24 hours (or less!), I will be at the hospital getting induced and bringing our first baby into the world.
“Yikes” is all I can say!
It’s been an interesting 10 months and if I’m being honest, I was really just trying to make it through. I can’t say my first pregnancy has been the most enjoyable experience and each day brought its own challenges. And now that we are finally at the end of the line, with a baby in sight, I’m being forced to sit and process all that has happened and all that God has been gently teaching me since the lines appeared on that pregnancy test. I wasn’t sure I wanted to share all of this, but as I have learned over the years, if I can humble myself and share how God has (sometimes, painfully) molded me, He may use me to be an encouragement to others and bring Himself glory…and that is all I can hope for.
Let me preface by saying this: as I share these things on my heart, I know that many have great difficulty in conception, pregnancy, and childbearing…greater than the difficulties I have faced. There are miscarriages. There are diagnoses. There is infertility. There is constant pain and sickness. And my heart breaks for situations like these. My experience is my own and my struggles my own as well. And as I share these struggles and feelings I have had in regards to pregnancy, know they come from my own brokenness. I know many of the attitudes and feelings I experienced these past 10 months were not good ones. They were experienced by a sinful person, in need of God’s grace and forgiveness. But I want to share them as they contribute to the whole of this writing.
I have always wanted to be a mom. In my school scrapbook, my dream job in second grade was to be a “mommy.” I had doll and stuffed animal “babies” growing up (I may have even pretended to breastfeed said toys). I always loved being around little kids. That desire has never gone away…it has been a constant in my 20-some years of life. When I went to college, I knew I couldn’t just get my “MRS” degree and not prepare for any other paths God might lead me down, so I settled for a degree in Speech Pathology and hoped I could maybe meet someone to secure that double major 🙂 Being a mom was always my number one pick of a job and anything else came second.
Fast forward to January 2022 when I took that first pregnancy test.
I was so scared to look at it, because for some reason in my mind, I just figured it would take me a long time to get pregnant. We hadn’t been waiting all that long (especially in comparison to so many), but I was so afraid I wouldn’t see the results I was hoping for. When I did see those two lines, I just started sobbing. My prayers had finally been answered. God graciously answered “yes.”
And His “yes” is where things get hairy.
The first struggle I ran into was major morning sickness. We like to call it “all-day” sickness in our house because the “morning” part is honestly a joke. I was sick all day, could hardly eat anything but toast, crackers, and gatorade, and was exhausted. And it lasted the entirety of my first trimester and quite a few weeks into the second.
In my second trimester, after the all-day sickness abated, I started to get lightheaded really easily. I’ve passed out a couple times before in the past, so I know what my body feels like leading up to something like that, and that’s all I felt for weeks. Even sitting down, my head would start to feel like it was swimming and I would get clammy and short of breath. Cue the extra doctors visits, bloodwork, heart tests, and a good report back that there was really nothing wrong with me…it’s just how my body responds to being pregnant.
In my third trimester, once the baby got quite sizeable, I started to get all the regular symptoms there on top of the lightheaded feelings of the second. The pelvic pain, the scrunched lungs, the lack of energy. This trimester even included a trip to the hospital with very high blood pressure.
As I experienced each wave of different symptoms throughout each trimester, I had people asking me about how excited I was, how I was feeling, etc. and I told them fairly honestly: I hated being pregnant. I felt horrible for letting on how I felt, especially knowing that there are so many women out there who would kill to be in my place! But in all truth, I truly despised pregnancy, and that was just for the physical symptoms.
Unfortunately, that was just the half of it.
I have struggled this entire time with major anxiety. Fear is a sin that entangles me often. I have always battled against it. With all the physical ailments pregnancy brought, my fears just seemed to heighten. In the beginning, I feared losing the Baby. I’ve feared driving while experiencing the lightheadedness. I have feared labor and delivery and all the “what-if’s” there. I’ve feared bringing the Baby home and not knowing what I’m doing. I’ve feared being alone when my husband goes back to work. I have often wondered, “If I have had such a hard time taking care of myself these past several months with all the physical needs…how in the world am I going to take care of a baby??”
I also sinfully struggled with a poor view of myself and anger towards others. I’ve never had a good body image and have had a hard time seeing myself as “fearfully and wonderfully made.” I gain weight easily and have exercised little throughout this pregnancy because of the physical symptoms I’ve experienced. Enduring comments from my doctor and others about my body’s appearance has been very hard for me. The comments hurt and I’ve shed lots of tears over the way I look, as I criticize every little thing I don’t like about my new body. But this is not just about others’ unintended insensitivity, but it is a deep-seeded struggle with sin in myself. I idolize my appearance and I don’t trust my Savior when He tells me I was made in His image.
Lack of contentment. An ungrateful heart. Fear. Poor view of God’s creation. Bitterness. It’s all sadly characterized this pregnancy for me. When I sit here and contemplate the last 10 months, I can’t say I am very proud with how I have faced everything. There is a lot of guilt here. After all, like I said earlier, many people would love to be in my shoes.
To top it all off…I knew getting pregnant and becoming a mom was my desire for so many years and when God finally answered my prayer, I shamefully wondered if I was even ready for it and wished we might have waited a little bit longer.
In sharing all of these struggles, there is a lesson here and I’m still painfully learning it. I don’t share these things to get empathy, but to share how God is reproving me and instructing me going forward.
2 Timothy 2:11-13 has come up many times throughout the past 10 months and has really stuck out to me. The passage says this:
“This saying is trustworthy, for: If we have died with Him, we will also live with Him; if we endure, we will also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He also will deny us; if we are faithless, He remains faithful — for He cannot deny Himself.”
I have been a miserable person these past several months and I have wallowed in it. I have not been very grateful for this pregnancy and all it entails. I have let anger and fear have control over my life. I have sinned against our God, who loves to give good gifts to His children.
Yet, despite my sin, God has been so very merciful to me.
I have been faithless, yet He has remained faithful because that is who He is.
God has been gently reminding me of these gospel principles for the better part of a year.
“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this; while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8
There is nothing I could do to earn God’s faithfulness in this season (or ever!). After all, I certainly despised His beautiful gift of pregnancy to my husband and I simply because of the circumstances surrounding it. Rejecting a good gift definitely would not earn God’s favor. Sin never does. But thankfully…it’s not about earning His favor.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 6:23
His mercy and forgiveness and faithfulness is a GIFT. It is given in spite of our sin. And like any gift we are given, all we are asked to do is humbly receive it with joy and thankfulness.
My pregnancy has been long and painful, mostly in the spiritual sense. I wish I could go back and change my attitude and trust the Lord with all the many struggles I faced. It would have been a much more joyful time in my life. I pray you don’t have to learn a lesson as hard as this one. I pray that when you experience “trials of various kinds”, you choose to “count it all joy.” I truly wish I would have! But I am realizing now just how gracious and merciful He has been to me through all this. I don’t deserve His faithfulness, especially when I was so faithless.
As I think on the gospel of Jesus and watch this Baby growing inside me wiggle around for the last few days before I get to meet him or her, I am praising God for His good gifts, mourning my sin, and thanking Him for His mercy.
Well, it has been a nice long while, hasn’t it? It’s been almost a year! I’ve taken a bit of a hiatus from writing, mostly because life got incredibly busy all of a sudden. My husband and I were house hunting last summer, buying a house and moving during the fall, and we found out we are having our first baby! Between those things, I’ve been a bit too busy to take time to write. I also really like to reserve writing for big things I feel the Lord has been teaching me. And there is a lot He’s been doing in my life, but some things I am still learning and working towards and not quite ready to write about just yet.
I came by this particular idea for a blog post during church a few weeks ago. Once a month, we celebrate communion at our church. Through the symbols of the bread and the cup, we remember Christ’s gracious sacrifice and atonement for us, and how as believers, we join in with His death and resurrection. Our old, sinful self dies with Him on the cross and our new self is given eternal life by Him! Our pastor’s oldest son sits with us during communion sometimes and as he is very young, he doesn’t quite understand the ins and outs of communion. This usually leads to lots of whispered questions as the deacons pass the plates around, but it gives me a great opportunity to explain (in terms a child can understand) why we take communion. I have really enjoyed this opportunity, because it helps me to align my heart and remind myself why I am participating in this very special service. It may be a simplified version of the “why,” but it often brings me to tears to think over this sacrament we get to enjoy and celebrate.
“When we drink the juice? Well, that reminds us of Jesus’ blood- how he took our place on the cross! And the bread? Yes, that’s a symbol of Jesus’ body. It was broken and hurt so ours wouldn’t have to be. Jesus’ took our place for the punishment of our sins because He loves us so much!”
When I am not tending to the curious questions of a 5-year-old during communion, I usually have my Bible open to one of my favorite Psalms. Chapter 51 is a beautiful and heart-wrenching lament over sin and a plea for God’s forgiveness. I choose to read this passage during each communion, because I want to be reminded of my sin. I want to be reminded of what I was saved from. But I also love Psalm 51 because it points so magnificently to Jesus’ sacrifice, though King David wrote it long before Jesus hung on Calvary. To me, it is so fitting for communion, as it truly helps me focus on the reason why I am taking it. It reminds me that I am a sinner, in need of grace every day, and was given Jesus’ own righteousness as a gift when He took my place on the cross. He suffered what should have been my just reward. He was bruised and beaten, bloodied and marred, as a willing sacrifice. He took my sin upon Himself and perfectly atoned for my sin.
I’ve been wanting to sift through Psalm 51 for a while now. I have wanted to share my thoughts and what I’ve learned as I’ve read through it countless times. I’m by no means a theologian, nor have I studied this Scripture in-depth as a pastor surely would, but this is my own human understanding of the Psalm written when King David likely felt the most guilty and sin-entangled of his life.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love, according to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgressions.“
Vs. 1
I need a completely clean slate. Lord, I don’t deserve Your forgiveness, but out of Your compassion, You freely give it to me.
“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin!”
Vs. 2
Lord, forgive me of my betrayal of You, my crookedness, and overall moral corruption. My sin is a stain and I need You to cleanse me.
“For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me.”
Vs. 3
My guilt is abundantly clear. I am not innocent, nor am I a “good person.”
“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.”
Vs. 4
I confess, Lord, that I have fallen short of Your perfect standards. I have twisted and corrupted Your creation. Every sin of mine is ultimately against You, therefore, You are the Judge I will stand before one day.
“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me.”
Vs. 5
I was born into this world, innately sinful. I was not taught to sin, but it is a part of my nature as a human being.
“Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.“
Vs. 6
God, even though I have hurt You and sinned against You, You delight in my humility and honesty with myself about my sin. You show me the Way to be clean and always point me back to Yourself.
“Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean. Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”
Vs. 7
As the Israelites used a hyssop branch to cover their doorframes with lamb’s blood as a sign to You to pass over their house and refrain from destroying them, please cover me with Your own sacrificial blood as a sign of your saving grace. God, may I be made white as snow where the blackness of sin used to be.
“Let me hear joy and gladness, let the bones that you have broken rejoice.”
Vs. 8
God, despite my human nature, may the truth of Your salvation give me joy! May I rejoice in my earthly sufferings because of the eternal promise I have through Your forgiveness!
“Hide your face from my sins and blot out my iniquities.”
Vs. 9
Lord, cast my sins as far as the east is from the west.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
Vs. 10
Please make me a new creation. Give me a spirit that delights in obeying and loving You, not one that habitually sins against You.
“Cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me.”
Vs. 11
Father, do not leave me or forsake me.
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.”
Vs. 12
Continually remind me of the joy of belonging to You, and strengthen my resolve to please You in all that I do.
“Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will return to you.”
Vs. 13
After I have removed the log from my own eye and confronted and confessed my own sin, give me the strength to aid other believers in removing the speck from their eyes. May my testimony be one that will help others return to Your love and grace.
“Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.”
Vs. 14
You alone can declare me innocent. Do so, my Savior. I will always praise You for how You have made me right with You!
“O Lord, open my lips and my mouth will declare your praise.”
Vs. 15
Thank You, God, for Your undeserved grace.
“For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.”
Vs. 16
Lord, lip service and mere religion are not enough to appease You. Good works do not make me Right in Your eyes. Nothing I do will save me from my sin.
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”
Vs. 17
But God, it is everything You do that makes me Right with You. I offer up my heart to You. I am but a living sacrifice, God. You will not reject true and genuine repentance, and You will accept nothing less.
“Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem;”
Vs. 18
Please bless me in this place, Lord, and continue to build up Your Church!
“then you will delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.“
Vs. 19
After I have confessed and repented of my sins, Lord, then my obedience will be fragrant to You! Please continually remind me that repentance comes first and the good things I do are merely a fruit of my salvation gift (given by You!) that I pray will help point others to Your love!
That is the Psalm of Confession in a nutshell! It is what I think through every time I “do this in remembrance” of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Communion becomes a very specific place of confession for me. I am not Catholic, as you may have guessed from the play-on-words title, but I do indeed participate in confession. And we all should! If this Psalm points out anything, it is how essential confession should be in the life of one of God’s children. The most amazing news as someone who is a believer in Jesus Christ is that we do not need to “go to” confession per se, but we go directly to the One who actually needs our confession! What I am saying is, we don’t need to be in a certain place or with a certain person for God to hear our cries for forgiveness. If we have accepted Jesus as our Savior (believed in our heart and confessed with our mouths His Lordship in our lives), His Spirit dwells in us and advocates to the Father for us. We have 100% direct access to God. If you need another picture of this, look no further than Matthew 27:51. Immediately after Jesus died, the temple curtain tore in two from top to bottom. This was the curtain that separated the Holy of Holies from the common area of worship, symbolizing our separation from a Holy God. Jesus’ death bridged that separation. Believers from then on had direct access to God and did not have to rely on a priest to advocate for their forgiveness!
According to Psalm 51, we sin against God directly, therefore, our confession for our sin is ultimately owed to Him. This doesn’t mean that we don’t sin against people…we definitely do and we should apologize to those we hurt, but God is the only one who can atone for our sin! My husband may be able to forgive me if I say something that hurts him, but he cannot cover that sin and remove its stain from my life. He cannot erase the effects of my sin! Any human priest or pastor is just another person, sinful like you and me. The Levitical priests of the Old Testament were indeed established by God, but they served as temporary symbols and imperfect advocates. They were people who had to confess sin as well, and nothing they sacrificed could perfectly atone for the peoples’ sin. Their roles merely pointed to Jesus and the need for a Great, Perfect High Priest who could atone for our sin. They showed the people just how sinful they were and how much they needed God! Confessing sin is an act unto God and God alone. Nothing else even makes sense, especially when we look at this Psalm! King David pleaded with God directly to wash him from his transgressions. The priestly system of the Jews was still in place, but David recognized that on top of his ceremonial act of confession, He needed to be made right with God through forgiveness that only God could render. No priest could wash David clean.
Hebrews 4:14-16 says this:
“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest [Jesus] who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
I love this. Christ is the only one who understands the burden of sin, but without actually sinning. This is why He deserves our confession and not a human priest. Jesus lived on this earth for 30-some years and knows what it is like to be tempted. He also knows the weight of sin because He took it all upon Himself on the cross. Yet, He remained sinless Himself, never once giving into temptation, never once sinning against a soul. He was our perfect sacrifice AND our perfect priest. His sacrifice covered our sins and His intercession makes us right with God. We can CONFIDENTLY draw near to Jesus and pour out our hearts to Him. We come to Him, asking for forgiveness, in sorrow over how we have sinned against Him, while remaining sure that He has covered our sins, blotted out our transgressions, and washed us white as snow.
“Consequently, He [Jesus], is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. For it was indeed fitting that we should have such a high priest [Jesus], holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens. He has no need, like those high priests, to offer sacrifices daily, first for his own sins and then for those of the people, since He did this once for all when He offered up himself. For the law appoints men in their weaknesses as high priests, but the word of the oath, which came later than the law, appoints a Son who has been made perfect forever.”
I had some nervousness about our wedding day as soon as we heard the news. It was actually the weekend of my bridal shower a couple months before when schools and businesses started to shut down for two weeks (and then some!) upon arrival of the infamous coronavirus in our area. That nervousness took a turn for the worse when gathering-size caps and mask mandates began to be implemented. I really started to sweat it out. I honestly wondered if we would be able to get married…
Hey there! I decided that with my first wedding anniversary happening in a few days, I wanted to pay tribute to the craziness and incredible things that occurred last year. It was the best day of my life, so of course, I wanted to write all about it and share our story. As you can imagine, 2020 was a whirlwind when it came to weddings, but we managed to plan (and re-plan) the most amazing wedding I could have imagined. And I want to share all the little details with you. If you have read anything I have written before, you know that I must also pay tribute to our Heavenly Father who fashioned all the details Himself. He was the one who made this all happen and taking time to reminisce and write about our wedding day gives me a chance to say “thank you” again to the Author of our love story.
Before I could get my bearings on the novel restrictions a pandemic imposed, our wedding plans that had been meticulously thought through for the past 15 months were turned upside down. It started when our beautiful rural venue downsized on its capacity limits. We had to begin the process of delivering the very sad news to our friends and family that they would not be able to attend our wedding. Then our courthouse shut down and was not issuing marriage licenses. And then I was told that the bridesmaid dresses I had picked out were the wrong size, had to be sent back, and there was not time to reorder the correct sizes. Not only that, the new ones I had decided on as a second choice went completely out of stock. It was a scramble to order new dresses that would work for the day. There were other challenges throughout those two months before our big day (including having to postpone our honeymoon to two months after our wedding because of my schooling and then cancelling it completely), but the biggest came one week before.
6 days before we were to become husband and wife, our venue called to completely cancel on us out of the blue. Not a single warning. Up until that point, they were totally fine with us having a small group, and then they did a complete 180. At that point, it just felt like par for the course for me (so I may not have been as devastated as I could have been), but I was pretty bummed out and stressed out. Our Plan A had been completely ruined by COVID (and for us, postponing our wedding was NOT an option! We had waited so long already and we wanted to just get married!!). Our Plan B was completely ruined by our venue, so we were left scrambling to figure out Plans C (and D and probably even Plan E) with just 6 days to go. Needless to say, there was a lot of sweat and tears that week.
But this is where all of the little details fell into place by the goodness of God and the help of some amazing people (and let me just say that He is a pretty awesome wedding planner)!
Let me first say that my hubby and I have the best families (and friends) EVER. They were all bound and determined to make this the best day for us. I remember my one aunt telling me to remember that none of this craziness took God by surprise and my best friend told me this was a perfect opportunity to wait and see how He would work all the details out.
My future in-laws agreed right away to host our wedding at their home (and we picked out their church as a rain location, as the forecast wasn’t looking too hot). My best friend (and MOH) came down for the entire week to help out. Our vendors even changed all of their initial plans to help and make things easy for us.
It was a whirlwind of a week and I honestly don’t remember most of it. My in-laws worked tirelessly at their house, mowing the lawn to perfection, power-washing the house and garage, weeding, and even painting their rail fence to spruce it up for our pictures! My father-in-law even built a platform for us to have for the ceremony to stand on! My mom and dad worked so hard to get decorations, chairs & tables gathered up (free to us from my church!), find tents (also graciously loaned to us), pre-order food (after getting a voucher for our deposit from our caterer), drive around to pick up last minute items, make tons of phone calls, and more. My best friend took the time to help me get organized, get things in our apartment set up in preparation for us moving in after the wedding, and she helped me get refocused. She even took the time to plan and throw a mini surprise party for me at my house, inviting friends who now wouldn’t be able to attend because of the gathering limitations. One of those dear friends of mine (who lived over 2 hours away) even brought a homemade wedding arch from her own wedding for us to use in our backyard ceremony! I wasn’t planning on that and it was absolutely perfect. It was so very special and humbling to have everyone working so hard to make this week as stress-free as possible!
The morning of the wedding was no different. My in-laws had hosted the groomsmen overnight, so all the guys got up nice and early (we had an 11am-ish ceremony) to set up tents, tables & chairs, decorate the platform, and even blow-dry the dewy grass with a leaf blower! The archway was set up on the platform in the backyard and all the guys decorated it beautifully. They even bought tablecloths for the few tables under our tents for our “reception” and decorated all of them. It seriously looked like a florist had snuck in! They even made a couple runs to the Dollar General to buy sheer curtains, which they draped and stapled on the wooden platform to even make it look nicer! My husband’s uncle surprised us as well by bringing down a truckload of hay bales for additional decoration. Everyone went above and beyond to make everything beautiful and so special and it meant the world to me! I was just happy to be getting married in a picturesque backyard and they made it better than I could have imagined.
At my own house on wedding day, everyone was just as busy. My hairdresser (bless her heart) arrived at my house around 7am (from over 30 minutes away) to help the hair process go smoother. My aunts all came to the house bearing breakfast for all the girls and I (Dunkin’ breakfast sammies, fruit, yogurt, donut holes, and juice). My photographer even came early too and set up some awesome, creative shots in our own home. I wasn’t originally planning on that, but it was special to just get ready for my wedding in the comfort of my childhood home. My parents were able to be there the whole morning and hang out with me and that was so awesome. That wouldn’t have happened if we had been getting married according to Plan A! I got to enjoy a fairly relaxing and stress-free morning and I even was able to eat breakfast (which is usually impossible for me if I’m nervous!) I’m telling you: God works in even the smallest of details. I was probably able to enjoy our wedding and have few nerves because of how everything ended up happening, than if it would have been our original plan!
Let me just tell you how perfect the rest of the day turned out: my new grandma-to-be just HAPPENED to have a beautiful, unused runner in her attic that we got to use as an aisle. We arrived at my in-laws’ house (just a little late) and I got to have a moment to pray with my girls before it was time. Then, with our DJ set up on the back porch, the bridesmaids started walking down to an old ballad, ‘Almost Paradise.’ I then got to stroll down the aisle with my daddy to my parents’ own wedding song, ‘Everything I Do (I Do It For You)’ to go meet my then-fiancé in the backyard…a place where so many favorite memories have happened over our years together.
After a reading, a song sung beautifully by my father-in-law, and a meaningful message from my pastor, we began our vows. Just at that exact time too, the sunshine poked out from behind the few clouds in the sky and came out to stay. It was the most beautiful thing. It was like getting a little smile from our Heavenly Father right before we committed ourselves to Him and each other. Then, we were announced husband and wife in front of a few dear family members. Finally!!!!
My future brother-in-law even videoed the whole ceremony and dances so all our other previously-planned guests could watch later on. The rest of the day of our backyard wedding was just as amazing! My in-laws’ backyard was literally picture-perfect! All the trees had just gotten their green on, the apple tree blossoms decorated the lawn, and the lilacs were in full bloom. We took pictures all over the backyard and they couldn’t have turned out prettier. My aunts made a run into town to go pick up pizza and fruit trays for our “reception” lunch (how many people can say they had Domino’s for their wedding?!) and we had dozens of delectable donuts to choose from that my own sweet mom had picked up that morning!
After pictures, we kicked off the speeches and the dancing. I got teary-eyed listening to a heartfelt speech from my maid of honor, and laughed at a hilarious speech from the best man. My husband and his mom slow-danced to another tear-jerker, ‘There You’ll Be’ by Faith Hill, and my dad and I surprised everyone by busting out our dance routine to the ‘Git Up’ (this being a tip of the hat to the days when he taught childhood me all the old dance moves to the ’64 Mustang, the Electric Slide, the Cupid Shuffle, and more). We had so much fun! The rest of the afternoon was filled with dancing to all our favorite, classic wedding songs and a bunch of 80’s hits. The ‘Love Shack’ definitely made an appearance and I taught everyone the dance that went along to ‘Footloose.’ There were cornhole games going on, lots of food, and visiting with family. We were all sweaty and sunburnt by the end of the day from the crazy dancing and beautiful sun, but it was oh-so worth it!
Even though our plans were upended so many times, we ended up having the best day ever. We got a beautiful backyard wedding in with our families and we couldn’t be happier. Sometimes, I get a little bummed out thinking on all we missed with our friends and other family members not being able to attend our big day, but in the end, I am so thankful because the Lord went above and beyond to work out a beautiful day for us. He answered so many prayers and in the end, His plans are higher than my plans. He knew what we needed and I think we were able to be so present and truly enjoy our day just the way it was. It didn’t go by too fast and wasn’t a whirlwind of trying to greet 200 guests, but it was a relaxed, sunny, backyard picnic of sorts, where my husband and I became one. It was truly the most special day and I am so thankful for every bit of it.
Our beautifully simple day was important. It’s not about the number of guests or the dream location, the perfect outfits or the flowers and decorations. Our day reminded me of what a wedding truly signifies.
When two Christians…stand before the minister all decked out in their wedding finery, they realize they’re not just playing dress-up. What they’re saying is that someday they are going to be standing not before the minister but before the Lord. And they will turn to see each other without spot and blemish. And they hope to hear God say, ‘Well done, good and faithful servants. Over the years, you have lifted one another up to me. You sacrificed for one another. You held one another up with prayer and with thanksgiving. You confronted each other. You rebuked each other. You hugged and you loved each other and continually pushed each other toward me. And now look at you. You’re radiant.’
Every believer is to bear witness to the atoning sacrifice and its power to save. He is to tell out the doctrine; he is to emphasize it by earnest faith in it; and he is to support it and prove it by his experience of the effect of it. You cannot all speak from the pulpit, but you can all speak for Jesus as opportunity is given you. Our main business is to bear witness with the blood in the power of the Spirit. To this point, we can all testify. You cannot go into all manner of deep doctrines or curious points, but you can tell to all those round about you that “There is life in a look at the Crucified One.” You can bear witness to the power of the blood of Jesus in your own soul. If you do this, you will overcome men in many ways.
Charles Spurgeon, “The Blood of the Lamb, The Conquering Weapon”
This is my testimony. It is my own story up until this point: a story of joy & fear, religion & relationship. It is a story that I am convinced I need to tell more often. You see, I write a lot about God. I write about what I’ve learned and what I’ve come to experience in my own life, but I’ve yet to write (in its entirety) the story of how I came to this great delight in Jesus Christ. I haven’t shared why this all is so important to me, or how it has affected me personally, and that is so very important! Why would any of this “Jesus stuff” be relevant, if it weren’t for people bearing witness to its power? As Chuck Spurgeon so eloquently stated above, “Every believer….is to support it [doctrine] and prove it by his experience of the effect of it.”
My life is a story of how Jesus rescued me out of darkness, fear, depression, and deep pain, and brought me into an amazing relationship with Him, full of peace, joy, comfort, and hope for the future. This is my testimony.
“I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart!”
I can hear those lyrics so clearly. They are coming from an old-school karaoke machine and a favorite cassette tape of children’s worship songs. This was one of my favorite songs as a little girl, a bit ironically, because joy is an experience I crave every day, yet it is my deepest struggle as well.
This song, however, does indeed reflect my childhood. I grew up in a joyful family of “church people.” Church was where you went on Sunday and the Bible is what you read Monday through Saturday. I grew up with my dad teaching me to memorize verses, my mom teaching me about obedience, and both of them affirming how much God loved me. I believed all of this then, and I believe it all now.
When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I became much more interested in Heaven: where it was, how you get there, why you want to spend forever there, etc. I knew I had a Pappy in Heaven and I knew Jesus lived in Heaven. So I knew that I wanted to go there too, someday. I remember sitting in bed as my dad tucked me in, and he explained to me all about Heaven, Jesus dying on the cross for my sins, and how I needed Him living in my heart. I gladly accepted in childlike faith. I asked Jesus to come into my heart and my life.
Jesus said, ‘I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6
Yet, as I got older, I experienced what every person on earth (I’m sure) experiences. I realized I didn’t always like going to church. Reading my Bible often felt like a chore to check off the list. The word “baptize” really freaked me out and I never understood why someone would want to get dunked under water in front of the whole church. These were normal things to experience as a child…even normal to experience as an adult. We are sinful people. God is not always our first desire. Our sinful self battles constantly against our spiritual self, if we belong to Him. I had a childlike faith, but my roots didn’t start to deepen and fruit didn’t start to grow until I was a freshman in high school.
It was the summer I turned 14, I believe, that I went to church camp for the first time. I know there are so many stereotypes and cliches when it comes to summer camp, but it truly was the best time. I went with one of my best friends from high school and we spent the week learning about how to grow in faith, hanging out with other teenagers, developing neat relationships with our counselors, and having an all-around good time. I remember praying the whole week that my friend would come to ask Jesus in her heart. Because, in my naiive eyes, she needed her some Jesus. But it was at this camp that the Lord opened MY eyes and showed me the gigantic log blocking my vision. I was blinded to the fact that I, too, needed Jesus. I realized then that what I had, what Jesus meant to me, could be reduced to a religion. I didn’t desire spending time with the Lord. I didn’t really try to grow (nor did I quite understand why it was so important). I realized that I needed a relationship. I needed to not just have Jesus in my heart, but I needed Him active in my life! I needed to be growing and learning and being anything but stagnant in this faith of mine! Jesus loves me and cares about me and He doesn’t want me to just say I love Him, but for that love to be evident to others! He wants to use me as a light to love and tell people of this wonderful new life I live through Him!
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue,and virtue with knowledge,and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness,and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 1:3-11
It was during the next few years that I really started to learn more about what it looks like to follow Jesus. What I wasn’t ready for was the terrible, horrible, no-good struggle of high school (which seems like an exaggeration now that I’m in my 20’s). To paint the picture, I was a painfully shy, anxious bundle of nerves. I obsessed over what my classmates thought of me, to the point that I would worry and stress about what they would think if I got up in the middle of class to get a kleenex. Looking back, it was ridiculous. But I struggled with this crippling fear and anxiousness all throughout high school. Then, in 12th grade, I started to get teased a bit. I was teased for being quiet, teased for wearing my favorite t-shirts too often, teased for having a guy as one of my best friends, and teased for being a Christian. It was my senior year that I really sank pretty low. I had no idea what was wrong with me at the time, but it is clear now how depressed I was. I struggled to get out of bed most mornings. I distanced myself from some of my friends, I fought with my mom a lot, and I cried myself to sleep far too often. Things really didn’t start to perk up until the end of high school and into my summer before college. My best friend encouraged me to listen to worship music for 30 days straight, and nothing else. This helped lift my spirits, focus my perspective, and enable me to sail into college with a happier countenance.
But my freshman year of college brought its own struggles. I had a full schedule (was wanting to graduate in 3 years at the time), had boy issues x2, I struggled to fit in with my first group of friends, and I had to adjust to entirely different way of life! This brought back the waves of depression a bit.
My struggles in life all came to a climax, however, on July 26th, 2015, between my freshman and sophomore year. This was the day that my world was rocked, my faith shaken to the core, and the darkest day of my life. This was the day I lost my younger brother. This was the day my parents and I came home to discover him missing, his four-wheeler gone, and a horrible note left in his bedroom. After a search party scoured the area for hours, my brother was found to have taken his own life at just 15 years old.
That day was a day I will never erase from my mind. As I said, my world was shaken. I prayed, begged, that God would let my brother be okay. I worried and wept. I was dealt a blow I didn’t know how I would recover from.
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.
Psalm 22:1-2
It has been 5 1/2 years since that day in July. 5 1/2 years of crying out, wrestling, counseling, praying, and healing. My brother’s suicide taught me many things. And as I said, it was the climax of my life’s struggle thus far. Now, I feel as if I am in the resolution. Joy has become a little less elusive.
I learned from day one without my brother just how important Jesus’ death and resurrection is.
For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so thatwe would no longer be enslaved to sin.For one who has died has been set free from sin.Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
Romans 6:5-11
Jesus’ resurrection freed us from the bondage of sin. We are no longer slaves to it and to death. Because Jesus was resurrected from the dead, we too can life alive in victory! We are united with Him.
If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
Romans 8:11
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39
I also learned in the wake of my brother’s death, that I needed to be vulnerable and willing to ask for help. I saw myself going down a similar path he did…driving himself to despair because he thought no one would understand.
I realized that Jesus came to seek and save those who are lost. “The church is not a museum full of good people, but it is a hospital for the broken.” Salvation is much more than just going to Heaven. Salvation is being reconciled to God, repenting of our sin, allowing Him to work in our lives and heal us, and giving our depraved, unworthy selves over to the One who loves us enough to die for us.
I realized that Salvation is the promise of eternal companionship, on earth as it is in Heaven, with the Only One who can make us whole. I realized that there is no sorrow we experience here on earth that cannot be healed through Christ.
I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
Revelation 21:3-4
And lastly, I learned that because I have a relationship with the God of Heaven and have repented of my sins, asked Him to be the ruler of my life, and submitted to His perfect and sovereign reign, I have that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart and it’s down in my heart to stay.
In the aftermath of my brother’s suicide, I talked with my parents and poured my heart out about my struggles. We have grown very close in these years following and being vulnerable allowed me to talk with many others and receive help and encouragement. I had started a blog just a month or two before Jeremy’s passing, and afterwards, it became my place to process my grief and a place to share God’s love and good news. When I went back to college for my sophomore year, I started going to counseling with a younger, local couple who not only helped me process the pain I was experiencing, but they encouraged me deeply in my walk with the Lord. They showed me the vitality of digging into Scripture and memorizing it. They showed me how to truly walk with Him through it all. God even worked greatly through a gen. ed. class (and my brother, indirectly) to introduce me to my now husband. God worked through the grief to give me an amazing, incredible gift.
Since these major events have taken place, I have experienced so much more. I still struggle to choose joy when life gets tough. I still struggle to trust God when circumstances don’t turn out how I imagine. I still struggle to honor the Lord when I wish He would have done things differently. However, I have found that my purpose and calling in life is to always be reminded and remind others of the true joy that IS found in Christ alone. I choose to share that joy no matter what struggles I go through in this lifetime. I now have a relationship with Him that deepens every day. I desire to be with my Savior. I desire to learn about Him and from Him as I read His word. I delight in hiding His Word in my heart. I enjoy gathering with other believers in communal worship. I treasure the opportunities I’ve been given to help others grow and to grow myself. I now live with a healthy longing to be with Jesus someday and to know Him more. I can’t wait for Heaven, but while He has me here, I’m going to choose to love Him no matter what. He is the reason that I am a new Creation and He is the reason for my joy.
Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines, even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The sovereign LORD is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as the deer, able to tread upon the heights.
Habakkuk 3:17-19
I can testify to the fact that there is indeed LIFE in a look at the Crucified One.
I want to take some time to talk about something nooooo one wants to talk about (especially in the Church). And I’ll give you a little hint: it starts with ‘S’ and ends with ‘in.’ Okay now hang in here with me…because this is important stuff. I’m just here to share what I have learned about sin through reading Scripture, how I have dealt with sin in my own life, and some other important aspects of it that the Church often neglects. No need to squirm or click on the ‘X’ in the upper corner of your screen. Just hang with me and learn with me!
I’ll be the first to admit…I really dislike this subject too. It’s uncomfortable, never easy to discuss with close friends and family, and it really just makes you feel like you are sitting in a pressure cooker, waiting to explode. But sin is so incredibly important to discuss. “We have to accept the bad news in order to accept the good news.” In other words, we have to be aware of our sin and accept that we are sinful in order to accept Jesus’ love, mercy, and grace towards us! There cannot be salvation if we are not saved from something in the first place! The Bible talks about sin probably more than any other subject (I don’t know that for sure, but from all the reading I have done, I’d warrant it’s a pretty dang good guess). Why? It’s not to drag us down, but to lift us up. We must first be able to recognize sin in our own lives and confront it in order to realized just how amazing our Savior is! Without seeing how broken and burdened we are, we will never be able to truly accept Jesus’ sacrificial gift! We deserved HELL for our sin and He took on that punishment all on Himself so we wouldn’t have to. Lemme say it louder for those in the back: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SIN.
Let’s first start with how we recognize sin in ourselves. We know from Scripture and personal experience that sin is a burden. It is a burden to ourselves and to others. Sin is ultimately what separates every single person from God. For unbelievers, those who have not accepted Jesus’ gift of eternal salvation, sin is exactly what keeps them from God forever. These individuals have not surrendered their sinful lives over to the One perfect Being who can wipe their record completely clean. For believers, those who belong to Jesus and have trusted Him with their lives, sin is a life-long battle between the “old self” and the “new self.” It is what keeps these individuals from experiencing life-giving fellowship with Christ and continued growth to be more like Him! No matter what way you slice it, sin is a rejection of God’s gift to us humans. To choose a life of unrepentant, continuous sin, is to NOT choose God’s ways. Sin leads to death. Repentance leads to life. And for the Church (the body/community of Jesus-followers), habitual, continual, truly-unrepentant sin is extremely dangerous.
This is why it is so important to discuss this! We live in a society where a thing I like to call “cultural Christianity” exists. It is a religion, for lack of a better word, that may believe that Jesus was a real person and that He died on the cross out of love, but it neglects the foundational pillar of sin in the Gospel message. Cultural Christianity screams, “GOD IS LOVE!” yet fails to also shout that God hates sin. Our culture today cringes at the word “judgment,” rails against any mention of “sin,” and runs in the opposite direction of anyone who even starts to bring up the fact that we are in desperate need of forgiveness. People, this is even happening in our churches!! We cannot let this continue. If we are true followers of Jesus, we need to recognize sin in ourselves, mend our relationships through repentance and confession of those sins, strive to live pleasing lives, and be able to lovingly hold our fellow believers accountable. This is why I am writing today. And this is what we are going to dive into.
Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
This is one of my favorites chapters in the entire Bible. This is a Psalm of King David. He ends this writing by asking God to reveal his sin to him. Whoah. Do we EVER do this? Do we actually ask God to point out our flaws, mistakes, failures, and transgressions? We should. Take this as example 1 in “How to Recognize Your Own Sin 101.” We need to pray that the Lord will reveal sin in our lives! We need to ask Him to point out things in our lives that offend Him. We need to beg Him to show us how we have done wrong. But why?? Take a look at Romans 12:1-2.
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers [and sisters], by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
We need to ask God to reveal our sin because our lives are a sacrifice to Him. Offering our lives to Jesus is how we are a “living sacrifice.” THIS is worship! You ever wonder how to worship God? Live a life that is pleasing to Him, obedient to His perfect ways! We need to know what sins we struggle with in order to lay them out before God, confessing how wrong we are, and then living differently, because THAT is WORSHIP. Wow. It is important to note, however, that “cleaning ourselves up” is not what makes us right with God. Our works do not save us. God saves us graciously. However, after we are saved, our choices in life are what become worship. Walking in love is like a fragrant aroma to Him.
I’ve talked a lot about confession and repentance. Let’s dive into that next. I am not a Catholic, so if you are thinking along those lines for confession, NOPE! Not even close. As a sidenote, Catholic confession must involve a priest, an intermediary, if you will. The Bible does talk about the High Priest, who is Jesus. Jesus is our intermediary. We don’t need to go to a booth to talk to someone about our sin. We can go directly to our Father in Heaven to discuss our sin. We don’t need anyone here on earth to do so. The Bible is very, very clear on that! (See all of Hebrews if you are interested in learning more) ANYWHO. True, biblical confession is so very important. Jesus teaches confession in the Lord’s Prayer, as well as teaching about forgiveness numerous other places in the Gospels. My favorite Scripture dealing with confessing sin is Psalm 51. This is a perfect, biblical example of how to confess sin and honestly, it is my own go-to. The author of this chapter, King David again, had just slept with a woman and had her husband killed. He was an adulterer and a murderer. Then, a prophet named Nathan (a friend of David’s) went to him to call him out on his horrible sins. King David wrote this Psalm in the aftermath of his conversation with Nathan.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You [God], You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” -Psalm 51:1-12
Whoah. Let’s unpack. David tells God how sinful he is and how he has wronged the Lord. David then asks God to wash him, purge him, and clean him from his sin, meaning, David recognizes how harmful sin is. David then reminds himself that God DELIGHTS in “truth in the inward being,” meaning, God delights when we are honest and humble and can admit when we are wrong. God teaches us right and wrong and He wants us to own it when we are wrong! Then comes my favorite verses…the greatest verses of confession in all of Scripture, in my opinon: Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. David is asking for a clean heart and a right mindset. He is asking to remain in life-giving fellowship with God. He is asking to be reminded of how joyous it is to be saved from sin! He is asking for God’s willingness to help hold him up when he stumbles and fails. THAT, ladies and gents, is true confession of sin. 1 John 1:9 says that if we confess our sin, “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” God will never withhold forgiveness if we ask for it. Remember, our repentance must be true, full of humility, and full of thankfulness for His grace! This is worshipful to our Heavenly Father, the King of Kings.
Now that we have talked about recognizing sin and dealing with it in ourselves, we come to the tricky, even more controversial “sin topic:” Recognizing Sin in Others. You may be thinking, “But I thought we aren’t supposed to judge???” You are partially right. Let’s head back to God’s Word to clarify. Recognizing sin in others is important for spiritual accountability among believers and friends. And spiritual accountability is “judging,” in a sense. Think about this: we judge all the time. If you can think of someone in your life that needs Jesus and you go to share the Gospel with them, you are essentially judging them. You are judging their need for salvation, based off of prior knowledge, conversations, etc. Let’s look at it even more simply. You see a picture on the news of a little boy in a foreign country whose ribs are poking out, whose eyes are jaundiced, and who can barely walk by himself out of fatigue. You would probably judge him too. You would most likely judge that he needs a good meal. The difference in the judging many assume the Bible is talking about, is we, as Christians, are meant to DISCERN (judge)…not CONDEMN (judge). We don’t determine who goes to hell and who goes to Heaven…that is God’s role. What we are commanded to do, though, is righteously judge. Righteous judgment is loving and discerning and it is done by a biblical model! Let’s look at Matthew 7:1-5, one of the most misused passages on this topic in the Bible.
“Judge not, that you be not judged.For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.“
Check out that bolded section. If you can read, you can see that righteous judgment is a command of Jesus. HOWEVER, it must not be hypocritical or self-righteous! We have to examine ourselves and confess the sin in our own lives (remember everything we just discussed?) before we lovingly and carefully call out the sin that we see in our fellow Christians. Let’s look at another, more specific, example of this in Scripture.
“I [Paul] wrote to you in my [previous] letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” -1 Corinthians 5:9-13
The Apostle Paul is writing some pretty hefty stuff here. He is writing to a church that wasn’t just struggling with sin, they were full-on welcoming it with open arms. Paul is explaining here that it is pointless to avoid unbelievers who sin (like we all do) because to do that, you’d have to stop living on this planet. It’s just not gonna happen. However, Paul does warn them…the people that you really should be cautious of and worried about are those who “bear the name of brother” (someone who claims to be a Christian) who sins continuously and unrepentantly. Paul basically says, “It’s not my job to judge people who don’t love Jesus. God will take care of them someday. I should really be calling out my brothers and sisters in the Lord if they are sinning! We can’t tolerate rampant sin in the church!”
Another example of righteous judgment and recognizing sin in others comes in Galatians 2:11-14.
“But when Cephas [Peter the disciple] came to Antioch, I [Paul] opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party [the Jews].And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy.But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, “If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?”
Paul and Peter were two of the greatest apostles, writers, and teachers (besides Jesus) in the history of the Church. They are the founders. Peter was one of Jesus’ closest friends and followers when He walked the earth. Paul wrote most of the New Testament and was converted miraculously by Jesus Himself. These were both incredible believers, and yet, Paul had to call Peter out on his crap, er, sin. Peter was acting hypocritically and not living out the truth of the Gospel. He was trying to add to it by imposing tradition on believers. Paul had to confront him and show him how he was wrong! You can see in these many examples, how important it is for us as believers to call each other out (lovingly, of course)! The truth of the Gospel depends on it and the integrity of our personal relationship with the Lord. If you see a friend doing something harmful, wouldn’t you try to get them to stop? You should. Even when it is difficult.
Sin is a literal life-and-death situation, for ourselves, and for every person on this earth. We are commanded to confess our sin to Jesus and to provoke each other to good works! Let us hold tight to the grace and forgiveness we have in Jesus and push each of our fellow believers to enjoy the same.
For a long time now (probably a few years?) I have been keeping a list in my phone notes of all the names of Jesus that I come across. Names have always interested me: I love looking into origins and meanings of names, finding out what my friends want to name their future babies and why, and I have kept an ever-changing “baby name list” for myself down the road since I was probably in elementary school. So as I read through Scripture, I realized one day that there are COUNTLESS names for Jesus. I wanted to keep track of them somehow and learn more about my Lord through His various titles. I have even tossed around the idea of writing some kind of devotional as I learn. But today, I wanted to dive into some of the names, as a kind of Advent Study this year. If I would have been more on the ball, I would have written a short post each day in December for a different name of Jesus, but as it is, the ball rolled away faster than I anticipated 😉
This name of Jesus is my favorite, I do believe. Maybe it’s because I love the picture of Aslan as Jesus in the Chronicles of Narnia. I love to picture Him as a good King like Aslan, but One who “of course isn’t safe.” I love knowing that my loving Savior is also a Conqueror and a Holy Ruler.
The Lion of Judah.
There are hints about this Lion all throughout Scripture, but one of the clearest passages referring to Jesus under this name is in Revelation 5, and is foreshadowed clearly in Genesis 49. Let’s take a peek.
“Then I saw in the right hand of him who was seated on the throne a scroll written within and on the back, sealed with seven seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming with a loud voice, ‘Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?’ And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it, and I began to weep loudly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll or to look into it. And one of the elders said to me, ‘Weep no more; behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has conquered, so that he can open the scroll and its seven seals.'”
Revelation 5:1-5
“And they sang a new song, saying, ‘Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to ourGod, and they shall reign on the earth.'”
Revelation 5:9-10
Now, I am not about to parse apart Revelation (the intimidation is real), but some notes in my Bible and notes from theologians much more knowledgable than I, point to Jesus’ worthiness. He is the only one worthy enough to be selected to read these scrolls, as the secret things of the world belong to Him (Deut. 29:29). He is the only one worthy enough to be a perfect sacrifice for the sins of the world. He is the only one worthy enough to ‘make a kingdom’ and rule it ‘on earth as it is in heaven’ (Matth. 6:10). This is the Lion of Judah. He isn’t the king of the jungle, but the King of the World He created. He rules and He ransoms. He deserves our devotion and He deserves our love. “No elder could redeem the universe. No angel could redeem the universe. But here is one who can. ‘Look.’ And he points to the Lion that is from the tribe of Judah.” -John MacArthur
We see in the historical book of Matthew’s gospel the physical genealogy of Jesus.
“Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob [Israel], and Jacob [Israel] the father of Judah and his brothers.”
Matthew 1:2
Judah was one of the 12 sons of Jacob. Symbolically, Judah was one of the 12 tribes of Israel (another name for Jacob). Jesus did not descend from the firstborn son of Jacob (as one would expect of a great historical figure and trustworthy Messiah). I doubt the Jews expected this when He first came either. But Genesis 49 tells us more about Judah the person, as well as what Judah’s lineage was supposed to look like. And here we see great foreshadowing to Jesus Christ. Before Jacob (one of the great Israelite fathers…a father of the Jewish/Hebrew people) died, He blessed each of his sons individually. Here is the blessing He gave to his fourth eldest son, Judah:
“‘Judah, your brothers shall praise you; your hand shall be on the neck of your enemies; your father’s sons shall bow down before you. Judah is a lion’s cub; from the prey, my son, you have gone up. He stooped down; he crouched as a lion and as a lioness; who dares rouse him? The scepter shall not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until tribute comes to him; and to him shall be the obedience of the peoples.'”
Genesis 49:8-10
Woah. Jacob prophesied that the “scepter” and “ruler’s staff” shall never depart from him (and his lineage). At this time in Israel’s early, early history, the Israelites were not a large enough nation themselves to warrant a king as a leader. At this point, they were just a community of one large family. So Jacob’s talk about a ruler in his son’s line was a bit out of place. But we see the foreshadowing of Jesus here, especially as we connect this passage with Revelation (and knowing the history of Jesus’ death, burial, resurrection, and promise of return). Jesus comes from the line of Judah. Check. Jesus is the only one worthy to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. Check. Jesus must be this Lion of Judah that Jacob is referring to. He is the King of kings who will wield the scepter and ruler’s staff. All people will be called to obey Him.
So what does this add to our knowledge about Jesus Christ, then? A lion is not quite the picture of the all-loving, gracious Savior that we think of, is it? It should be. A lion is “king” of his jungle. No other animal challenges this title. A lion’s roar can be heard for great distances and is to be feared. A lion is bold. A lion devours its prey, yet is gentle and protective of its own. A lion is majestic. A lion is not to be toyed with. Again…does this feel right to us? It’s more than uncomfortable to think of Jesus as wrathful, devouring, and not to be challenged. But this is Scriptural.
So often, in “cultural” christianity, especially, we love to see Jesus as tolerant of everyone, all-loving, forgiving of everything, and not vengeful of sin (because He died for our sin, right?). What we often fail to remember and teach is that God is a jealous God. God does hate sin. He does punish unfaithfulness. And He does have the ability and will to cast into Hell those who do not entrust their lives to Him and accept Him as God. (See the entire Old Testament as reference!) Yes, Jesus is loving. But it is also loving to keep His kingdom perfect and holy, just as He created it. He cannot allow sin to rule over the lives of His children when HE should be their ruler. He will spit out the person who is “lukewarm,” who is neither hot or cold.
Jesus is like a lion in the fact that He is protective and loving towards His own. “I give them [my children, my sheep] eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Jesus is like a lion because no one can challenge Him and win. “For thus the Lord said to me, ‘As a lion or a young lion growls over his prey, and when a band of shepherds is called out against him he is not terrified by their shouting or daunted at their noise, so the Lord of hosts will come down to fight on Mount Zion and on its hill.‘” (Isaiah 31:4)
Jesus is like a lion because His roar…His anger towards sin… is to be feared, as He is holy, and it should make us run to Him in submission. “They shall go after the Lord; he will roar like a lion; when he roars, his children shall come trembling from the west;…and I will return them to their homes, declares the LORD.” (Hosea 11:10-11)
Jesus is like a lion because He will not be toyed with. “The terror of a king is like the growling of a lion; whoever provokes him to anger forfeits his life.” (Proverbs 20:2)
Judah is a lion. And Judah will produce a lion who will have the scepter and who will bring about the rule that shall cause all the nations to bow down. The Messiah then became known as the lion that would come from the tribe of Judah. Lion because of his fierceness, lion because he would come in strength and destruction and devastation. It speaks of the Messiah as a strong, powerful, menacing, destructive, and deadly personality.
John MacArthur, ‘A Vision of the Lamb’
But the Jews killed Jesus because of how He wasn’t lion-like. He was meek and humble. He was a healer, a forgiver of sins. He claimed to be the Son of God. Instead of being the conquerer of the Romans…a destructive and powerful earthly king, He was a teacher and friend.
Even though Jesus is a teacher and a friend, we must remember that He is coming again. He will be coming to finally condemn and punish sin. He will be strong and powerful, destructive and deadly, to those who do not belong to Him. Thank Heaven for a Holy God who loves me enough to save me from such a punishment.
“His lion-like judgment still waits for the right day. It is yet to come.”
This topic has been on my heart for awhile, as it is something I have been convicted of sharing and something that I feel is lost in the muddle of social media, busy lives, heart-wrenching news stories, politics, and more. It is the reason for the hope that I have…the anchor of my soul, and it is misconstrued daily in the lives of many followers of Jesus. We warp it. We look at it through the world’s glasses. We look for it in almost every place except the Bible. We accept others’ opinions on it rather than looking to the factual source. What I am talking about is the Gospel…the good news that should be the foundation of every believer’s life and faith. It is time to get back to the basics and remember what this good news TRULY is and why it is so important for us to hold fast to it.
The word “gospel” gets pretty watered down these days. It’s one of those “Christian words” that many just associate with common bible-thumping proclamations like “Jesus loves you!” or “Repent of your sins!” (Both of which are totally true, but often lose their significance when not explained). “Gospel” literally means “good news” or “good announcement.” The Greek word for this is Euangelion. It was often used in terms of royal announcements, such as the news of the start of a new king’s reign. In terms of the Bible, the euangelion of Jesus is talking about God’s establishment of HIS kingdom. This was all fulfilled through His Son, Jesus…the perfect and sinless God-man. But more on that later…I want to explain the basics of this good news, why I believe in it, and how this should be manifest in the life of every believer in Jesus.
The Gospel first begins with the deity of Christ. The “good news” cannot truly be good unless we first start here. God is essentially three persons in one. He is God the Father, God the Son (Jesus!), and God the Holy Spirit. In the beginning of time, this triune God created the entirety of the world…the heavens and the earth. In Genesis, chapter 1, we see God as the Creator, One who blesses, the Author of life itself, and the divine ruler over His creation. Jesus, being part of the triune Godhead, is therefore also divine, holy, and perfect. He is the same God that we see in Genesis. In Isaiah, chapter 9, we read this prophecy about Jesus:
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace, there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.” (verses 6-7)
Jesus is the son given to us from the Father. Here are more scripture passages pointing to the perfect deity and divine nature of Jesus, as God and as the Son of God, though He became man on Earth:
“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:5-10)
He was God, but He left His heavenly throne to come to earth as a man (though still devine) to sacrifice himself. Because of this great act of obedience and selflessness, God exalted Him. Jesus has the same place as God: He is worthy of worship, confession, and our service.
“In the beginning was the Word (Jesus) and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:1-5)
“Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high…” (Hebrews 1:1-3)
“My sheep hear my voice, and I (Jesus) know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” (John 10:27-30)
The important thing to realize, after believing that Jesus is God, holy, all-powerful, perfect, and our Lord, are His attributes because of this. As I said, Jesus is HOLY. Holy means “set apart,” and in this context, without sin. Even though Jesus came to earth as a man, He never sinned. Not once. He is the only one to walk this earth who never once defied God. He was perfectly obedient. And because of this, He was the perfect substitute for us…we who sin ALL. THE. TIME.
That is the difference between us and Jesus…and believe me, it’s a HUGE difference. He is God. We are not. He is holy, we are sinful. He is perfect, we mess up all the time. And because of our sinfulness (see Genesis 3), we are separated from Him.
Many of us choose to ignore sin. After all, the idea and truth of sin is uncomfortable. It points out that an all-loving Creator God hates something. The fact that God is perfect and holy and sinless means that He must hate what is apart from Himself. God is not the root of sin. God does not tolerate sin. God hates sin and the horrible effects it has on His creation. He doesn’t hate us, but He hates how sin ensnares us, draws us away from His perfect design, and eventually destroys us. Sin is the opposite of what God is.
And we are sinful. We stray from God’s perfect design every single day (again, see Genesis 3). And we love to pretend that sin is not actually sin. We love to pretend that gossip is good. We love to stray from God’s intentions for sex and marriage. We love to give our attention and affection to things other than Him, creating idols in our lives. We love to give into jealousy. We love to argue with others. We hate, we lie, we steal, we kill, we covet, we lust, we are impure, we are angry, and more. We all contribute to the evil that is in the world in one way or another.
As Jeremiah says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (17:9)
And Paul, in the book of Galatians, says “For the desires of the flesh (our sinful nature) are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” (5:17)
And yet again, Paul calls us out as the people we are…separated from God: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)
Many of us hate the idea that we are not enough. And we aren’t: we are lost, broken, and sinful people…separated from the holiness and goodness of God. We will not inherit the kingdom of God as such people. We will never be able to be with Him if we are so horribly enslaved by our own desires. And it’s hard for us to think that a loving God could be so strict and intolerant of sin. For God to be rid of all the evil that is in the world, He essentially would have to get rid of US…who all contribute to the evil in the world.
“As it is written, none is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” (Romans 3:10-12)
BUT… (A great word, really!)
“those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” (Galatians 5:24)
God provides a Way to get rid of evil without destroying His beloved Creation (without destroying us!) Early in the Bible, we see animal sacrifice being used to atone for the sins of God’s people. This served as a symbol of what Jesus would do eventually. An animal can in no way take away our sins. It’s just an animal. It is another part of the fallen creation. But what God wanted to show is that an essentially perfect life must be given in place of those who truly deserve death. The animals sacrificed were spotless, in good health, strong, and the best that could be offered. A “perfect” life for a sinful life.
This was the symbol of Jesus’ atonement for our sins, but He did it on an entirely different scale than the alter of animal sacrifice. Jesus was like that perfect lamb that was given. Jesus was completely spotless. He was perfect (as we’ve discussed earlier). He was pure, innocent, and not deserving of death, but was still given in the place of others (in OUR place).
Because Jesus came to earth in obedience to His Father, He suffered a cruel fate (death by Roman crucifixion). This was to atone for our sins. “Atonement” means to cover over someone’s debt. Jesus was the substitution, the payment of our debt of sin. “For the wages of sin is death,…” (Romans 6:23a)
He even said in Mark 10:45, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
“Jesus’ death covered the debt that humans owe God for contributing to all the evil and death that is in this world” (Tim Mackie).
Jesus satisfied God’s wrath for sin. He took our deserved place on the cross and died instead. Therefore, we did not have to make a payment to God for defying His holiness and perfect Creation. Jesus made that payment for us. He atoned for our sins.
But there is even more. Jesus did not stay dead after the crucifixion. The eyewitness accounts given in the historical books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all factually state that Jesus was resurrected from the dead. Why is this meaningful in the realm of the Good News?
“He broke the power of death and evil…The very power that brought Jesus back from the dead is the same power that can deal with the evil in our own lives and can transform us into people who live lives of love and peace” (Tim Mackie).
So what does this mean for us? It means that accepting Jesus’ gift of atonement…His gift of substitution and ransoming us from our sin, means that we can be forgiven and free from that enslavement. We don’t have to live lives that are bound for destruction. We don’t have to endure God’s wrath for sin. We don’t have to live separated from the Creator of the Universe…the holy, perfect, divine Father God.
“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:6-11)
I would DEFINITELY consider this the Gospel…Good News. In fact, this is the BEST news. I told you I would tell you why I believe in this. First of all, I believe that the Bible is a true, historical book (this reasoning is explained by the late Ravi Zacharias in “Why Trust the Bible?“…I won’t get into all the details because that would be a whole other post). I also believe in the Gospel because I have seen the power of its truth transforming peoples’ lives. The testimonies of many of my family members and friends alone are enough for me to see and believe in Jesus. I also believe in the Gospel because of the hope it provides in my own life. I grew up in church and in a Christian family. But my belief and faith was not “real” to me (that is, not transforming to me) until I was in high school. It was there that God showed me that belief in Him and acceptance of His gift of atonement is not all there is. He showed me that the Good News MUST cause me to make a change in my life. My newfound zeal for Christ became even more so 5 years later when my brother committed suicide. My brother professed his belief in Jesus and I saw the change in him because of it. I am confident that he trusted in the Lord for his salvation and accepted His forgiveness. Therefore, after he died, my hope increased all the more. Because of Jesus’ gift of eternal life, my brother’s sinful decision was already paid for. He made a momentary decision “of the flesh” that was opposed to God’s Spirit, but because he had accepted God’s gift of atonement, my brother is in Heaven with Him. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
Jesus knows that on earth, it is impossible for us to be perfect, even after accepting His gift. But the purpose of accepting Him is that we might be changed from the inside out. The old, sinful person we used to be is gone, and in its place is a redeemed person, who lives for the Lord as best as they can in their sinful body. When we are in Christ, we are a new Creation. We do our very best to not sin. We seek what is good and “set our minds on things that are above” (Colossians 3). We present ourselves to God as “instruments of righteousness” (Romans 6:13b). Yes, we still sin. But that is no longer our death warrant. We have been ransomed from that bondage. We may struggle, as our innate sinful flesh battles against our new righteous heart, but Jesus’ gift is what saves us eternally from our sin. It is nothing that WE do, but everything that HE does. My hope lies in Him.
So how then do we as followers of Jesus live our lives? I think this is where things begin to muddle for us. This is where we tend to try to keep elements of our “flesh” and make them work with our new lives as God’s children. We try to warp the gospel to our own liking and what WE want it to say. We ignore parts of Scripture that we don’t like or think are “outdated.” We don’t like change…and Jesus wants to change us COMPLETELY.
These are some of the key aspects of living for Christ that I have found in my own study…believe me, there are many more, but these are foundational.
“Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness” (Romans 6:13a). Sin has no dominion over us unless we allow it. We as Christians are called to flee what is wrong and what is against God. As Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, “Neither do I condemn you; go and from now on, sin no more.” (John 8:11) And how will we know what God hates? And what is sinful? And what to avoid?
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom;” (Colossians 3:16a). Looking to Jesus FIRST through His Word, the Bible, is what will guide and direct us. People will fail us. Pastors, teachers, and spiritual leaders will fail us. Books written by man will fail us. What won’t is God’s Holy Word. What are we relying on for the truth? Are we relying on the news? Are we relying on the popular podcasts? Are we relying on people rather than God? Dig into Scripture to find that truth for yourself. Daily be in God’s Word, meditating on it and memorizing it…hiding His Word in your heart.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you…You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-2, 5) This is how we “admonish one another in wisdom.” Many of us stop at verse 1 here and use this to create a false theology that Jesus doesn’t want us to judge others. If we continue on, we see that He does not want us to judge hypocritically. Context is key. We are to point each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ, in the right direction. This means calling each other out (in love) if we are wrong. This means “judging” or “discerning” if we are living like Jesus. This means that we have to look inwardly at ourselves first and take care of our own sin, before we point out the sin in a fellow believer.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.” (Colossians 3:12-15). There is not much to say about this. It is clear that Christians are to live differently. When the world speaks of retaliation, we are to forgive. When they say to practice “self love”, we are to practice loving others and considering them greater. Where the world glorifies power, we are to glorify submission and meekness to God’s will for the good of the whole. We live differently.
This is what is on my heart. I want all to know the truth of the Gospel. I don’t want us to rely on famous pastors, 5-star podcasts, CNN or FOX news, best-selling novelists, or anything other than Jesus for the truth of the gospel. Granted, there are many good things that can supplement our understanding of Scripture, but, Satan, the author of evil, will try to get followers of Christ to stray in any way he can. This means he will make anything evil look good. Christian music looks good. Anything labeled as “church” looks good. What I am getting at is that we need to discern what is true from the lens of Scripture FIRST…the meaning and definition of the Gospel, most importantly. Satan will try to warp our beliefs, even through means we deem “good.”
Search the Scriptures. Don’t even take what I say for 100%-amen-truth. Dive into God’s Word to discover these truths for yourselves. May we as Christians, live like Jesus did, and truly understand the power and love of the Good News Gospel!
I guess I knew the day would come, but I didn’t realize how fast it would sneak up on us. We’ve even had some practice, with me going off to college (twice), but we always knew I’d be moving right back home.
But now, I get married in 8 days.
I’m over-the-moon excited, of course, but I am finally realizing that I’m growing up and it’s time for this chickie to leave the nest. These are my final days of sleeping in my twin bed in the bedroom I grew up in, my final days of padding down the stairs on Saturday morning to greet mom and dad sitting on the couch, and my final days of sitting at my place at the dinner table each night. It’s finally hitting me and it’s overwhelmingly bittersweet.
Daddeo and Momma,
Before I leave home, there’s so much I want you to know. I want you to know how much I love you and how much I am going to miss living in our home. You have both taught me so so much and to put it all into words is next to impossible. I cherish the memories of playing wiffleball in the backyard, being tucked in at night, going to church as a family, all jamming out to Shania Twain on the old karaoke machine, riding on the lawnmower, reading countless books, laughing over great movies, praying together, taking rides out to camp, spending countless summer vacations in Colorado, and learning about each other over the years.
I cherish the spiritual guidance you both have given me…from sharing Bible stories with me when I was young and teaching me how to pray, to encouraging me to grow in my faith and serve others as a young adult. You have prayed over me and with me for as long as I can remember, and I know a huge part of why I am now ready to leave home is because of your prayers and guidance. Thank you for being the ones to point me to my Heavenly Father and nurture my growth in my relationship with Him.
I cherish how you have both opened your hearts to me in your own unique ways…from walks with Mom, to sitting on the porch with Dad, to countless phone calls while I was away at school. Thank you for allowing us to become friends, in addition to being family. Thank you for sharing your grief and joys with me and allowing me to share mine with you. Thank you for always opening those channels of communication and letting me know that you will always be there for me. I know I can come to both of you with anything that is on my heart.
Thank you for supporting me: emotionally, mentally, financially, through schoolwork and friendship woes, through difficult decisions and great accomplishments, and in this big decision to get married and begin a new chapter in life. I know you will always be my biggest cheerleaders and I’m thankful God chose us to be on the same team.
I cherish the people you are, the parents you are, the friends you are, and the brother and sister in Christ you are. God made my cup overflow when He chose you to be my parents. I couldn’t have dreamed of better. Thank you for all you do and all you are.
Thank you for preparing me for this moment in my life. Dad, thank you for praying for my future spouse and showing me how to love others so well. Mom, thank you for showing me how to serve as a wife and mother. I love you both with all my heart and even though it’s time for me to “leave and cleave,” know that you both have made an incredible impact on my life and have made me who I am today. I’ll miss what was, but I’m excited for all the new memories we will make as I turn the page in our life story. I’m excited to grow our friendship more, to make memories with you as a daughter and son-in-law, to (Lord willing) see you become grandparents someday, and to see how God works in our lives and family. And don’t worry…I’ll be over to visit often 🙂 (thank goodness for only living 0.7 miles away, can I get an amen?!)
I love you Daddeo. I love you Momma.
Before I leave home, I wanted you to know just how much.
I’ll tell you what. I never imagined life as it is right now. Global pandemic. Unemployment. Isolation. Unknown futures. It’s like the world is on pause.
My world is definitely on pause.
No, I have no virus (that I’m aware of). No, I have not been laid off from a job (even if it feels like it). But yes, I fear the future. It feels like my own little world has been rocked.
I am in my final semester of grad school: the time where I experience 22 weeks combined of clinical rotations in both educational and medical settings….or at least I was supposed to. With COVID-19 causing shut-downs globally, my two little externship experiences were put on hiatus amidst it all. Now, I am left sitting at home with a much shorter to-do list than I would like, wondering where and when the heck I am going to get my last 130ish hours to complete my degree.
That’s just a slice of the pie.
I also am 2 months to the day from getting married! (The exclamation point is a very hopeful punctuation mark in that sentence). With gatherings limited to <10 people, that could put a slight damper on weddings plans…seeing as how the bridal party + me + my fiancé = 10 people. To say I’m sweating is an understatement.
Oh and my licensing exam was cancelled. That’s the last piece.
While I’m trying to wrap my head around all of this, taking deep breaths, and telling myself that everything will be okay, I do have an odd sense of peace. Yes, I’m anxious. Yes, I’m worried. Yes, I went for a walk and cried the other day because I didn’t know if I would be able to have the wedding that I’ve dreamt about since I was a little girl. But I have a small, seemingly out-of-place sense of peace. And it is nothing but miraculous, supernatural, heavenly peace.
None of this is a surprise to God.
If He is the Alpha and Omega, He saw this coming even back when the Civil War was first breaking out. If He is a loving Creator who notices the teeny tiny sparrow falling to the ground, He knows the ways this pandemic is affecting each and every one of us. If He was willing to send His only Son to earth to be tortured, hated, ignored, and to be put to death on a cross JUST so we could be saved from torture and eternal death ourselves, then SURELY He sees us in this pain and grief and fear and unknowns and He sees the end result as beautiful.
“For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though He cause grief, He will have compassion according to the abundance of His steadfast love; for He does not afflict from His heart or grieve the children of men.” {Lamentations 3:31-33}
This pandemic may be God’s way of getting our attention. It may be a test of our faith. It may be to refine us. But it also just may be a result of living in a sinful world. Part of the curse of man’s disobedience and the pride that came with wanting to be like God in ways we cannot be (i.e. omniscient, sovereign, etc.), was disease and hardship and pain and suffering.
Can we really question God in a time like this? Our world is not perfect, and this global crisis just proves that point in a very large capacity.
Reread that verse.
“For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though He cause grief, He will have compassion according to the abundance of His steadfast love; for He does not afflict from His heart or grieve the children of men.” {Lamentations 3:31-33}
Even though a curse of sin was brought upon all humankind (see Genesis 3 for all the deets), God provided an eternal escape from the grief, “according to the abundance of His STEADFAST LOVE.” I hope you caught that. Yes, God allows pain and suffering (the result of living in a sin-filled world and being imperfect human beings), but He provides a Way out because He LOVES US. He doesn’t want to leave us drowning in grief. He wants us to look to Him amidst the grief. He does not afflict from His heart.
As much as I want to freak out and worry about getting a weird virus, not graduating on time, or not being able to have the wedding of my dreams, I need to remember Who is ultimately in charge of all of this. He is our loving Father. Even the wind and waves obey Him. He’s got the whole world in His very capable hands.
I think C.S. Lewis says it much more adequately than I could ever hope to:
A more Christian attitude, which can be attained at any age, is that of leaving futurity in God’s hands. We may as well, for God will certainly retain it whether we leave it to him or not. Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or your happiness to the future. Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment ‘as to the Lord.’ It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for. The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received.
Whether we trust Him or not, God will take care of it.
“Wait on the Lord. Be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” {Psalm 27:14}
I guess I knew the day would come, but I didn’t realize how fast it would sneak up on us. We’ve even had some practice, with me going off to college (twice), but we always knew I’d be moving right back home.
Love Sees You 