I’ll tell you what. I never imagined life as it is right now. Global pandemic. Unemployment. Isolation. Unknown futures. It’s like the world is on pause.
My world is definitely on pause.
No, I have no virus (that I’m aware of). No, I have not been laid off from a job (even if it feels like it). But yes, I fear the future. It feels like my own little world has been rocked.
I am in my final semester of grad school: the time where I experience 22 weeks combined of clinical rotations in both educational and medical settings….or at least I was supposed to. With COVID-19 causing shut-downs globally, my two little externship experiences were put on hiatus amidst it all. Now, I am left sitting at home with a much shorter to-do list than I would like, wondering where and when the heck I am going to get my last 130ish hours to complete my degree.
That’s just a slice of the pie.
I also am 2 months to the day from getting married! (The exclamation point is a very hopeful punctuation mark in that sentence). With gatherings limited to <10 people, that could put a slight damper on weddings plans…seeing as how the bridal party + me + my fiancé = 10 people. To say I’m sweating is an understatement.
Oh and my licensing exam was cancelled. That’s the last piece.
While I’m trying to wrap my head around all of this, taking deep breaths, and telling myself that everything will be okay, I do have an odd sense of peace. Yes, I’m anxious. Yes, I’m worried. Yes, I went for a walk and cried the other day because I didn’t know if I would be able to have the wedding that I’ve dreamt about since I was a little girl. But I have a small, seemingly out-of-place sense of peace. And it is nothing but miraculous, supernatural, heavenly peace.
None of this is a surprise to God.
If He is the Alpha and Omega, He saw this coming even back when the Civil War was first breaking out. If He is a loving Creator who notices the teeny tiny sparrow falling to the ground, He knows the ways this pandemic is affecting each and every one of us. If He was willing to send His only Son to earth to be tortured, hated, ignored, and to be put to death on a cross JUST so we could be saved from torture and eternal death ourselves, then SURELY He sees us in this pain and grief and fear and unknowns and He sees the end result as beautiful.
“For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though He cause grief, He will have compassion according to the abundance of His steadfast love; for He does not afflict from His heart or grieve the children of men.” {Lamentations 3:31-33}
This pandemic may be God’s way of getting our attention. It may be a test of our faith. It may be to refine us. But it also just may be a result of living in a sinful world. Part of the curse of man’s disobedience and the pride that came with wanting to be like God in ways we cannot be (i.e. omniscient, sovereign, etc.), was disease and hardship and pain and suffering.
Can we really question God in a time like this? Our world is not perfect, and this global crisis just proves that point in a very large capacity.
Reread that verse.
“For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though He cause grief, He will have compassion according to the abundance of His steadfast love; for He does not afflict from His heart or grieve the children of men.” {Lamentations 3:31-33}
Even though a curse of sin was brought upon all humankind (see Genesis 3 for all the deets), God provided an eternal escape from the grief, “according to the abundance of His STEADFAST LOVE.” I hope you caught that. Yes, God allows pain and suffering (the result of living in a sin-filled world and being imperfect human beings), but He provides a Way out because He LOVES US. He doesn’t want to leave us drowning in grief. He wants us to look to Him amidst the grief. He does not afflict from His heart.
As much as I want to freak out and worry about getting a weird virus, not graduating on time, or not being able to have the wedding of my dreams, I need to remember Who is ultimately in charge of all of this. He is our loving Father. Even the wind and waves obey Him. He’s got the whole world in His very capable hands.
I think C.S. Lewis says it much more adequately than I could ever hope to:
A more Christian attitude, which can be attained at any age, is that of leaving futurity in God’s hands. We may as well, for God will certainly retain it whether we leave it to him or not. Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or your happiness to the future. Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment ‘as to the Lord.’ It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for. The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received.
Whether we trust Him or not, God will take care of it.
“Wait on the Lord. Be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” {Psalm 27:14}
Love Sees You 