Allergic to Grad School

“Yeah and the dog ate my homework, too.”

Nope. No excuses here, just stating the facts. Okay, it may not actually be school…but rather, something that is in school. This here is a quick story behind this most recent post. For the past 5-6 months, I have been dealing with unknown, mysterious allergies off and on. Sometimes, I will look fine. Other days, I look like I lost a fight with a swarm of bees. And then got sucker punched in both eyes. It’s fine.

We figured out that I am allergic to some product ingredients (just what exactly, I don’t know) but I am allergic to some makeups and some hair products. So, I found some nice, more natural products and life was good. (for about two and a half months)

Fast forward to semester three of grad school starting and I have the worst flare up I’ve experienced. Eczema on the face. Eyes looking like they are not just swollen and red, but diseased as well. Everybody notices. So fun. Then I realize that this reaction goes away when I go home on the weekends. *lightbulb*… I am allergic to grad school.

The point? I’m beyond frustrated. I look ridiculous. I can’t cover it up (makeup allergies, remember?) It’s painful, itchy, and burns like nobody’s business. Over the counter meds don’t work. My prescription medicine barely works. I have to treat clients and go to class (oh and go out in public in general!) looking like Quasimodo. I am so self conscious about it, I’m tired of dealing with it, and I am not anywhere close to finding out what is causing all of this. What a lot of people don’t realize is that dealing with allergies, especially unknown ones, causes a lifestyle change. All natural products. Reading the ingredients labels of EVERYTHING. Washing your hands 24/7. Medication. Moisturizers. Praying, praying, and oh did I mention…praying? Distilled water for face cleansing. Extra laundry. Unscented everything.

It sucks.

So, I am in the middle of a bad flare up today, I’ve had some frustrating moments in clinic, and I got involuntarily sent a campus-wide spam email today that has given me over 200+ emails in the span of 30 minutes or so?

Today just sucks.

Then, I remembered my devotions this morning. And every morning for the past 46 mornings. Take a wild guess as to what they were about. Yep, that’s right. THANKFULNESS. Yesterday morning and this morning’s devotions both had me reading James 1 (which actually is very unusual…typically each reading is a new verse/chapter to meditate on). Want to hear some of the highlighted Scriptures in James 1? Talk about some humble pie…

“Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (vs. 2-4)

And this one…

“But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that driven and tossed by the wind.” (vs. 6)

Oh and this one…

“Blessed is the man (or woman!) who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him.” (vs. 12)

And another…

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (vs. 17)

You see my point? I shouldn’t even have to dive deeper, I think you guys get the picture, right? God is the Author of joy. His idea, yep. He created it. Don’t you think…as the Creator…He knows what He’s talking about? If He says there can be joy found in the midst of trials, I think we should take His word for it. Don’t you think that the same God who asks this hard thing of us, knows the end result? Duh…look back at verse 12! He will BLESS those who remain faithful and count those dang trials to be joy! The joy comes from knowing that the trial will NOT last forever and that God is faithful to His faithful kids. The same God who requires us to do the impossible (or so we think), is the same Heavenly Father who LOVES to shower His children with good and perfect gifts.

So, I can sit here and cry (literally, just buckets of tears) over my stupid allergies. Or I can give thanks. I can remember that God (the Giver of good gifts, remember?) blessed me with an amazing doctor who chats with me over the phone and email, who meets me where I am because he knows that I live too far away to come in for an appointment every couple weeks (and who already sent in a new prescription for me!!). I can remember that God blessed me with healthy skin on the rest of my body! I don’t have eczema everywhere that so many have to suffer through. I can remember that my eyesight is good and unaffected thus far. I can remember that I have so many people praying for healing for me.

So much to be thankful for. So much joy waiting to be discovered. Even if I am allergic to school.